again!!!!!!

ak sperti lgsg xkenal diri ak dan dimana ak skrg.now i need to decide which one that i shud choose for my life. ble nk move on, it happen again. why??? ak nie knpe pown xtau. ble dh hapy ckit smua pesanan ak lpe. doing the same things. no need larh nk move on. org xphm mslah ak ble ak adew mslah dorg just tau dorg nye saket hati. ak mmg dari dlu smpi skrg kwan xdew nk ambik berat pown.yg adew cume maki hamun.. dari ayah smpi kwan.. bnda tue still happen until last week. maki hamun always adew dlm diri ak. xtau larh apew yg ayah ak xske kn ak pown xtau larh. ak ni dh xdew nilai. hidup pown mcm hape jerw. arif dh pegi. hati baru nk pulih jadi lg. ak ngaku silap ak. knape tuhan uji bnda mcm nie. tlg larh jgn dtg kn lg perasaan mcm nie. sungguh xlarat nk tggung bnda nie smua.. knpe. ak rse trlampau rendah diri bila bnda dh jadi kali kedua..
i rndu u sgt. sory kt smua sbb lgsg xphm hati dan perasaan korg. mybe ak nie bodo bnda kecik pown xnmpk..

1. Jangan pernah memberikan perasaan kte kepada seseorang jika suatu saat nanti kte akan menyesal karenanya,.
disini ak ngasi tau krn kebanyakan sesorang itu pasti nyesel udah pernah punya rasa sama someone,. udah berharap,. tp perasaan itu ngga berbalas,. yah bertepuk sebelah tangan gtu,. yg ada hanya rasa sakit hati,. coba deh difikirakan lagy,. ga ada salah akan perasaan yg tidak terbalas itu,. coz apa yg udah kita perbuat belum tentu semuanya harus sesuai dengan apa yg kita hrapkan,.

2. Jangan pernah menyentuh kehidupan seseorang jika suatu saat hanya akan menyakiti perasaannya,.
ini yg paling beratt,. :)
kita tidak pernah tau apa yg kita perbuat kpd orang lain itu ternyata menumbuhkan perasaan yg beda kepadanya,. pernah alami?
hahaa,. pokoknya benar2 confuse sgt deh.

3. Jangan pernah kembali lagi ke kehidupan seseorang jika suatu saat hanya akan meninggalkan dia ketika dia sudah berusaha melupakan kita dan yg pd akhirnya perasaan itu datang kembali,.

pernah terfikir kmu akn ketemu dgn dia yg pernah jd bagian indah dalam kenangan masa lalu kmu?

namun dia pergi disaat kmu sedang nyaman bersamanya,. dan setelah kmu berusaha ngelewatin hari2 kmu buat ngelupain dia,. dia malah datang kembali??
hehee,.
can't imagine this one,.

p/s: pkir2kn! jmpe kt one place bnda nih..

everythings about him.

i can close my eyes and pray that he'll come back
or i can open my eyes and see all he's left.
my heart can be empty because i can't see him,
or i can be full of the love i shared.
i can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or i can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
i can remember him only that he is gone,
or i can cherish his memory and let it live on.
i can cry and close my mind
be empty and turn your back.
Or i can do what he'd want.

am i stupid??

apew yg jadi skrg nih?? knpe ak ckp kt dye mcm tue smlm. i shud not ckp mcm tue kt dye. dh xbest dh now. npe xbleh let go lg nih?? even dye pegi n xnk layan pown blom tentu ak bleh let him go.y pown xtau larh. dye different sgt. xtau knpe ak ssh sgt nk forget wat happen to us before dis and hari2 yg spend 2gether.npew ewk?? ak still dlm dunia ak. xpenah lgsg trpkir nk move on. knpe org xleh awk?? even kte xkn adew any special relation but org always nk awk adew dgn org. yup btol awk kte when awk dh adew someone t awk xnk tgk org hurt kn. org pown penah trpkir wat will happen to me when awk dh adew someone. am i ready for that??? org pown xtau mcm mnew situation org mse tue. tpi org mmg xleh nk let go awk. dan dsbb kn org xleh let go awk n dgn apew yg org bwat ngan awk skrg, awk pown xleh nk move on dsbbkn prangai org yg bodo nih. serius org syg kt awk sgt.btol awk kate kte xptt ckp syg,rndu or watever larh kt someone yg xdew special relation lg ngan kte.tpi ntah org syg kt diri awk. awk laen sgt larh. klu awk xdew org rse empty. tpi awk xnk mcm tue so org always hiding org nyer feelings. even saket cane pown org xkn ckp ngan awk sbb org tau awk xske.
org cbe yg trbaek utk bwat apew yg awk xske. org akn keep shut dgn apew yg org nk ckp n rse.

i hate you.

we are over.xsgka yg you can blame me like dat.how could you.
i rather to be alone dri adew kawan smua2. sbb smua mmg xkn phm diri ak neyh mcm mnew.ak nih ssh sgt nk org phm.adew kte ak sombong xbrtempat larh,adew kte ak neyh gedik larh,sial, bodo, amus adew jerw kt diri ak. mama pown slalu ckp ak ssh kn dye. ak neyh anak malang kowt..smua org xske kt ak. berkwan pown xkemana. klu baru nk hapy adew jerw yg ggu ak, xbleh nk hapy ngan spew..yesssssssss!! ak hapy ngan diri ak skrg yg alone.senang nk bawak diri sbb dh xdew spew2 kisah.nih pown sys bising.baru pnjam lapy kjap pown dekut..tggu larhak beli yg lg besar baru tau.ak beli lappy yg lg besar dari badan ak.hemph klu ak beli t ko nk pnjam jgn harap larh.to datgurl thanks for the advise and ak maafkn ko dunia akhirat even ko bwat ak mcm tue. i mish him!!!

still cant let go

hati jadi xtentu arah bila dpt tau yg org yg kte syg dh adew yg baru yg bleh happy kn dye lg. mybe she is the best for him.. thats the lumrah if jodoh dh xdew when we having a relation wit someone.. xpew larh ak kena terima larh if that things happen to me.. salah ble kte ade harapan dlm diam neyh. bwatkn hati jadi lg teruk, sengsara kn diri jerw. tpi ak selesa dgn diri ak skrg. hati neyh saket larh ttbe.xtau knpe. knpe ak xbleh nk trima org laen sedangkn bnda tue kdg2 senang jerw nk fren ngan org2 laen. ak lgsg xbleh nk mcm dlu.. org laen happy jerw ak tgk tpi ak neyh mcm haram kejadah. knape ak xbleh jadi mcm org laen yg bleh move on jerw without pndg blkg dgn apew yg dh happen to us!! fuck all this. jelek dh dgn lelaki nyer pranagi.dh xnk dh adew prasaan mcm neyh lg. kdg2 trpikir gak hati ak pulak kerw dh trtutup???? hhahahahah.funny!! this is me.now i love to walk alone, mkn alone, shopping pown alone, best do it smua bnda alone. so im trying to change the best from the best!!!

hardest things to say.

always nk ckp that things tpi mmndgkn apew yg happen now dh selesa n xnk lost him again just shut up and let it be.i really want to say that but xkluar when cll him. im trying to having relation yg baru but smua xmnjadi.and im always compare that guy with him. ak jdi meluat dgn apw yg dorg bwat even sweet things pown.sometymes always ckp tue dat new guy "awk nih xsme mcm dye larh" thats the only words yg bwat kn smua xmnjadi.ak pown xtau knpe ak slalu sgt pkir bnda tue and ckp bnda tue dgn sape2 pown.so ak decide ak nk stay mcm neyh jerw. no need to move on.
i will stay like dis. ak hapy if tgk dye smiling.heh!! sweet jerw. when dye smiling something jadi stuck and stop for a while. awesome.. i mish him.