qila yrososmi zoc gnitruh ouy niaga.. :(

sory my dear. i do love you, i do mish you but i still cannot accept lg dgn pew yg happen now. i dun want you to back off now sbb i need someone to guide me to forget all the things yg happen to me. but awk btol2 kena phm with my situation sy skrg.. sy dh ckup tension dgn smua2 yg happen now. yess i shud not bother them again sbb sy sendiri akn saket blk.. sory to say sy dh paksa diri sy untuk lpekan dye tyme we together but still xbleh. he still on my mind. dlm diri sy dye masih adew lg. sy tau mmg saket hati yg teramat sgt when we like someone n kejar2 kn apew yg kte nk tpi xdpt. yeaa!! sy rse bnda tue skrg. sy xtau kenapa sy xbleh nk lupakn dye.. sy rindu kt dye awk. its hurt.. sy xnk lost awk. one day sy sendiri akn whisper kt ears awk yg i really love you.. sometymes sy pikir yg awk bkn untuk sy sbb awk trlampau baek.. sy neyh xptt bwat awk mcm neyh. sy jahat sgt sbb lgsg xphm awk nyer feeling.. yess i noe yg awk ske sy tpi sy hope awk phm with my situation skrg.. sy dh lgsg xtau nk bwat apew dh. "AA" really mish you.

people..

sometimes i wonder how it's gonna feel will my true love be true and real? will i be ready when my heart starts to fall again? my answer is : 'NO'

hari yg baru, org yg baru, kwan yg hapy, dye yg cute

hahahah.today rase hapy sbb dpt g college jmpe ngan frens smua.hehe.arie neyh dye cute wlupown nmpk mcm xkeruan.hahaha.hapy bila nmpk kwan adew dpan mata smua. but suddenly prasaan yg baru dtg dlm diri ak. tpi ak xdpt nk trima bnda neyh lg sbb dye still lg adew dlm diri ak.haha.mish him.tpi new guy neyh baek, kind, cute. tpi takot nk ckp bout dis feeling sbb nyer takot hurt lg. klu bleh jauh2 kn larh adew feeling mcm neyh ngan org laen. ak takot nk trima sbb xnk lukakn hati lelaki lg. also xnk hurt my self lg. tgk larh skrg relation ak ngan dye dh xmcm dlu. klu bleh ak xnk ak akn jadi ngan new guy neyh sme mcm ak ngan yg laen. rndu kt kwan2 smua.tpi gulfie ak xdtg dmm kata nyer.tpi xpe best fren smua adew tdi.
hehehe.hapy larh wlupown kt kpala still serabut ngan mcm2 hal. rndu n syg kt dye still adew lg. tpi harusla ak igt yg dye bukan utk ak.
love u lots --->"AA"

harapan yg baru

ak akn cube prbaiki diri ak lg utk future n ak doakn smua nyer akn jadi lebih bagus.
wlupown ko slalu in my mind but ak akn cbe kuatkn hati utk diri ak. ak kena hormatkn diri ak. yess smua nya brpunca dari ak. ak yg salah phm atas smua yg brlaku. smua mslah dtg nyer dari ak. yess men!! ak bukan larh utk ko. and ak pown harus slalu ingt yg dye bukan utk ak. start from now ak akn cbe jadi mcm biase. UTK KO WAHAI TEMAN, AK DOAKN SMOGA HUBUNGAN KO NGAN DYE SUCCESS SMPI BILA2. AK AKN SENTIASA DOAKN YG TERBAEK UTK KO DAN DYE..
AK AKN HAPY KLU TGK KO POWN HAPY..
FRENS FOREVER KAY..
LOVE U LOTS ->>> "AA"

ak yg bingung.

knape ak jadi mcm neyh sendangkn dye xdew pape pown.
yess i noe adew org kate yg ak neyh terlmapau ikowtkn prasaan sndri n trlampau lebih2 dgn harapan yg xpernah akn adew. yess i noe i need to go through all dis alone, i shud not be like dis, yess i noe all dis is nonsense, smua org anggap ak neyh terhegeh2 kt dye sdangkn dye bwat xtau jerw ngna ak, knape???knapew??? knape??? adew org ckp dye xpenah bg harapan kt ak. so slame neyh ak jerw yg bodo ikowtkn sgt prasaan hati ak yg ngada2 neyh. dye xrse kerw apew yg ak rsekn skrg??
knape dye yg dtg dlm life ak skrg neyh dgn keadaan yg mcm neyh??
knpe dye xdtg dlm hidop ak sbgai seorg kwan yg btol2 ikhlas nk brkwan ngan ak.
ak pown xpernah mntx nk jadi mcm neyh tpi bila dh jadi nyesal xsudah.
dye baek smua adew kt dye.
ak cbe utk lpekn smua yg dh brlaku, bleh mmg bleh tpi hati berat utk lpekn dye.xtau knpe. always dye jerw dlm kpale ble ak alone. dh biasa bgun dari tdow msti nk col. mybe bnda tue ak kena kurangkn ckit.
i need fren yg nk dgr ak nyer feeling tpi smua nyermcm xinterested nk dgr.
dlu ak adew dye yg always advice ak mcm2 hal but now i already lost my fren yg bleh help me. i really need him ryte now. xdew spew nk tlong ak untuk bwak ak jmpe dye brdua n cerita smua nyer. wlupown terlka xpew jnji ak puas.
i alreadt lost my fren & already heart broken.
thanks and sory for everything dear.
love u lot!!

3.35 pm

sucks gler today when i noe dye akn dtg utk make it something that we need to do in a group. then tggu dye sbb he said that he would come on 3 pm to make this work.
suddenly ak dpt col from someone fon that he said he already smpi but still kt bwah nnti sy naek..wat the fucks are dear.i tggu u dari kul 1 until 3 but when u smpi kelam kabut ngan smua. sgguh mnyakitkn hati. bleh bwat mcm xdew pape happen jerw..
fuck gler. why i need to go through all dis alone..
why ak kena adew rse mcm neyh??
why dye xpenah nk luangkn ckit mse ngan ak sedangkn pg,ptg,siang,mlm ko asyik ngan dye.
wlupown stgh jam mse yg ak peruntukkn utk ko jmpe ngan ak itu pown xbrmkna ko adew mse untuk ak.
yess. i noe u are not mine. but please understanding about this feeling.
everyday i cry for this feeling but ade x u penah ambek kisah about me, or else.
come on larh syg.
i really mish you. xtau nk ngadu ckp kt spew lg. xdew org yg pernah phm i..
knape?? sy trlmpu ngade sgt kerw.. bleh dtg n pergi mcm tue jerw tdi. stupiddd...

5.30 am

trjaga nk g toilet ttbe trbace one of my msg sbb before sleep dew texting with someone then ttdo bgun pagi trjaga adew text dri my fren tue..
ak lgsg xbleh tdow after bace that msg.suddenly sume yg ak bwat with someone smua terpikir blk. knpe ak jdi smpi mcm neyh hgga kn ak lpe diri ak yg sbnar spew sblm neyh. ak xperlukn kwan yg ramai sbb ak neyh xsedia lg nk brkwn ngn org mcm dorg smua.ak xptt adew hati kt dye.sbb ak dh tau yg dye hak org laen. wlupown dye always advice ak jgn bwat mcm neyh jgn bwat mcm tue tpi he is still not mine, and i shud set on my mind yg ak xkn penah dpt dgn apew yg ak nk. yess now it happen again. ak cbe jadi yg lebih bgus dri sblm neyh utk brkwan ngan org laen tpi still same. knape yea bnda neyh happen again. yess ak yg lebih2, ak xptt adew prasaan mcm neyh ngan dye. i shud forget him for the rest of my life.ak kena lpe kn dye wlupown ak syg kn dye lebih dari seorg kwan.. i shud stop saying dat i love him. he also shud stop saying dat he love me if he never meant it. sy akn syg awk smpi sy mati. thanks for everythng.. i am so speechless dgn apew yg i dpt pg neyh n lgsg xbleh pkir apew2. ak kena jadi ak yg dlu. kena set kt mind gak yg dye lgsg xbagi harapan pape kt ak. come on larh joasnida. forget everything. lpe kn smua wlupown it takes time. stopfrom loving him utk semntara neyh.. jauh kn diri dari dri dye sementara neyh. ak ble brkwan ngn someone xpenah nyer nk jadi baek ble pghujung. before dis pown same gak.kwan bagi nk rak tpi last2 apew pown xdew. ak ikhlas niat nk brkwan tpi sometymes org xphm ak kowt. ak neyh lebih2 sgt kowt.. now i cannot sleep because of dis matter. always thinking bout him.. always my dear.alwaysss...
nk bwat apew pown xjadi ble always pkir kn hal kte.
ak rse bnda neyh rosakkn lg friendship kte brdua. if before dis ak xdew prasaan mcm neyh kn bgus. kwan jerw mcm biasa
just nk ckp awk sy btol2 syg awk, n akn sentiasa syg awk. thanks.
awk nk ckp apew awk ckp larh. jnji sy tau apew sbenaar nyer yg brlaku.
just bleh doakn yg terbaek utk awk ngan dye. loveyoumore my dear!!

TENTANG KAMU

Ku Tak Bisa Menebak
Ku Tak Bisa Membaca
Tentang Kamu
Tentang Kamu

Kau Buat Ku Bertanya
Slalu Dalam Hatiku
Tentang Kamu
Tentang Kamu

Bagaimana Bila Akhirnya Ku Cinta Kau
Dari Kekuranganmu Hingga Lebihmu
Bagaimana Bila Semua Benar Terjadi
Mungkin Inilah Yang Terindah

Begitu Banyak Bintang
Seperti Pertanyaanku
Tentang Kamu
Tentang Kamu

streess out!!

pagi bgun tdow today stress out smlm xabis lg.igtkn ble tdow smlm bleh larh lpekan smua nyer tpi still remain the same feeling.. arghhhhh.. still thinking bout him. knpew ngn dye. keindahan yg lme smua dh hilang. texting smlm pown xreply back. sy still thinking all those words yg awk ckp kt sy smlm. awk plsssss jadi mcm dlu blk.. sy xnk awk yg skrg.. mish you so much my dear.. always thinking bout you. hapy ckit ble pagi neyh bgun dpt text from him and ak trus col him. tpi still xangkat and i noe he still tdow lg.. its okayh. then try again and again and again. lastly bru dye pick up my col.. hahahaha
a bit release all the stress out tpi still pkir lg hal smlm. xbleh stop doing something. ak kena sibukkn diri ak dgn something yg bleh bwat ak lupekan dye.. loveyoumore my dear!!

HATI YANG KAU SAKITI

jangan pernah katakan bahwa
cintamu hanya untukku
karna kini kau telah membaginya
maafkan bila memang kini
harus kutinggalkan dirimu
karna hatiku selalu kau lukai

tak ada lagi yang bisa ku lakukan tanpamu
ku hanya bisa mengatakan apa yang ku rasa

ku menangis membayangkan
betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku
kau duakan cinta ini
kau pergi bersamanya

ku menangis melepaskan
kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku
harus slalu kau tahu
aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti

why suddenly you change?!?

everything yg jadi today spoil my day when someone suddenly col me and mcm bad mood ngan i today. i dun noe why..ak mnjadi lebih sedih ble dye ckp "ske larh hati" dgn nada yg ak rse ckup menyakitkn hati. for me dye seorg yg baek hati mybe dye adew probs trsendiri thats might be happen like dis. i am so sad dgn apew yg trjadi hari neyh. lgsg xdew mood dari tghari tdi until now.. for me he is everything to me. a very2 gud friends for me.
i dun wanna lost him. but i rse he never understand apew yg ak lalui sndiri wlupown depan mata dye sndiri. knpe u bwat mcm neyh??? dgn pew yg trjadi arie neyh sy cbe lebih tabah kn diri utk awk.. ak jadi lebih xtentu arah ble ptg bnda neyh mnjadi2 lebih teruk ble dye col.. xtau nk share mcm mnew lg. ckup larh hanya ak dan dia jerw yg tau..
my dear im so sory for everything. i doakan yg teerbaek utk you and your gf..
i akn sentiasa doakn yg terbaek for both of you..
take gud care of ur gf..
hope dye pown akn jage awk dgn lebih baek.. xske tgk org laen saketkn awk wlupown sy baru kenal awk tpi sy xske tgk org bwat awk mcm tue..
hope dye xmcm2 ngan awk..
loveyoumore my dear!!!

TERIMA KASIH CINTA

Tersadar didalam sepiku
Setelah jauh melangkah
Cahaya kasihmu menuntunku
Kembali dalam dekap tanganmu

Terima kasih cinta untuk segalanya
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Tanpamu tiada berarti
Tak mampu lagi berdiri
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Kembali dalam dekapan tanganmu

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Kau berikan lagi kesempatan itu
Tak akan terulang lagi
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Terima kasih cinta untuk segalanya
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Tak akan terulang lagi
Semuaaa kesalahanku oouuwww
Kesalahanku yang pernah menyakitimu

continue story ptg tdi.

then after that dye lgsg mcm xnk lyan ak.
asl ewk dye mcm tue.
ak cbe untk jadi kwan yg trbaek tapi dye mybe xphm. ak cube nk jadi gf trbaek tpi dye jugak xphm. now he never pick up my col.dun noe apew yg happen ryte now between me and dye. mish the way he talk with me mcm dlu, mish the way he sing to me before i sleep, mish he said 'loveyoumore' before and after i sleep, mish dye smile kt ak, everything yg dye bg kt ak slame ak brkwan dgn dye adalah keindahan yg xkn dpt kt mnew2.
huh!! sedih lak ttbe. tpi sometyme tgk dye mcm okayh.why my dear.why???? why u do like dis to me?? i xptt adew feeling mcm neyh ngan u dear. hate all dis coz im alone to get through all dis. i really mish u yg dlu, yg i dew probs u always give advice to me to help me too be cool on dat situation.. npew suddenly u change. i xphm sgt npew u jadi mcm neyh. i neyh slalu susah kn u kerw??
i really need u now. u leh lak kuar tpi u ckp u tdow kt umah. what the hell is going on with us ryte now??
could u tell me why all dis happen to us??
plss come and talk to me personally about ur problems..
i bleh phm.please~~

lovely morning!!!

smlm col someone dlm kul 4 lebih mcm tue. then when i col him dye mcm mrah. dun noe why he suddenly change mcm tue.sbb before dat adew jmpe lepak skali mkn2 kt kdai mkn bwah tue.hemph. then after col him ak text message to him dgn mengatakn
"sory awk if sy adew bwat silap dgn awk" ak.
then dye senyap xckp pape pown.
suddenly dye text me back
"npe tdi??" someonea
"npe?? xdew pape!! ak
"busy" someone
"ha'ah busy!! ak
"xpe la.sory ggu" someone
then dye col burak2 jp tpi mybe i yg lebih2 kowt dtas why after that col dye xangkt..
hemph xpew larh awk..
then mlm col xangkt2 smpi rse nk g tmpt yg dye stay now and mrah knape dye xpick up my col..
then around 11.30 baru angkt dye bleh ckp sory xbwak fon
around 5 am he col me syg.
arghhhh. so sweet..
continue nnti..
daaaaaaaaaaa.

hal dye lg!!!

smakin hari smakin mnjadi lak hubungan ak ngan dye neyh.xtau knpe ko jdi sebegini skali..ak cube utk mmperbaiki blk apew yg dh trjadi tpi ko slalu push ak soh mcm tue soh cmni..ak dh bwat yg sehabis baek mungkin utk our relation..tpi still xbleh go on lg. tlg larh brubah ke arah yg lebih bagus dari hari neyh..
mmg ak syukur dgn perubahan yg ko tunjuk kn skrg tpi ak xrse yakin dgn apew yg ko bwat skrg..prangai ko mnjadi2 skrg.. bkn brtmbh baek tpi mnjadi lebih truk dari sblm neyh..
tlg larh fahami diri ak wahai lelaki..
wat a bad day..smua org mcm nk mrah2 ngan ak..
damn!!!

everyone adew problem tersendiri..

mcm2 hal happen today.
dgn class nyer,dpt kwan baru lg.
hapy+saket dgn apew yg trjadi dgn hari neyh & semalam..
smlm nmpk benda yg xptt ak nmpk.. and ak dh ready dgn smua neyh. ak dh ckup ready dgn apew yg terjadi smlm.. wlupown skjap tpi adew rase nyer babe.. tpi tgk dorg brckp smlm nmpk cm sweet jerw. xpew larh kena accept larh dgn apew yg dh trjadi smlm. then ptg ckit g karaoke with all my fren wlupown baru baek dari saket.
hapy sgt sbb dpt bilik BESAR. hahahahahahaha. berlari2 ak kt dlm tue.
hapy larh xtau nk described cmne dgn keadaan smlm.
lovely jerw hari smlm.
cume hari neyh rse xhappy sbb dgr crita mcm2 dari kwan2.
adew yg brkwan tpi iri hati, padahal brkwan mcm nk gler tpi rupe2 nyer adew something yg di lindung kn dlm diri dye..
we as a fren shud be honest if adew something yg rse kurg senang..
for me, if brkwan tpi still adew prasaan kurang elok tue bwak2 larh brbincang..
jgn nk pendam2.
sbb kte kwan.special mcm mne pown org laen nk treat kwan kte tue biarkan larh.
kte sbgi kwan ptt rase senang ble kte tgk kwan kte hapy & senang dgn keadaan dye skrg.. no matter wat happen ak harap xdew larh kwan2 ak yg brkwan dgn ak skrg adew prangai mcm neyh.hope smua nyer okayh. tlong larh brubah wahai kwan ku yg bwat kwan ku tue.. apew pown keindahan yg smlm diberikan hanyalah sementara..